Finding Your Uniqueness

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1

Note your environment. A Japanese man that shakes hands instead of bowing will be different in his culture, but be pretty normal in the West. Reading Thoreau for fun will be commonplace in some circles, while "normal" is Cosmopolitan in others. In order to know how to be different, you have to take into account your environment. Think of three words to describe yours. Now, what's the opposite of that?

• Let's go back to "Mean Girls." Three words to describe that environment? Superficial. Vain. And unsurprisingly, mean. Wanna be different from the Plastics? You'd have to be a deep thinker, not into looks, and nice. However, being nice in other circles is totally normal (and expected). What's your circle like?

2

Observe. Take a step back from your surroundings for a moment and just observe. How are people behaving? How do they interact with each other (friends, strangers, cashiers, lovers)? What assumptions do they all make? How are they dressed? If you were to walk in unexpectedly, how could you not fit into the mold?

• There's definitely a spectrum of outrageousness here. Something so simple as wearing a bright color could set you out from the crowd in a café on a dreary day.
• You could make small changes to your behavior -- when the cashier at the café asks you what you'd like, instead you could reply, "Hmm. Not sure. How was your day?"
• You could go the wrong way -- be loud, throwing things, start dancing on tables -- that'd sure be different than normal public etiquette. But it'll probably get you thrown out.

3

Do what you like. Straight up, you're going to enjoy some things that are trendy and some things that are not. That's fine! As long as you're doing what you enjoy, you'll have a combination that's probably unique to you. Maybe you love baking, jiujitsu, and thrift-shopping. If you enjoy it, it'll feel right.

• It shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks or does. Do you want to sing a song from Jekyll & Hyde at karaoke in German? Awesome. Go for it. Do you want to buy that Abercrombie & Fitch bag? Well, if it would make you happy, sure. Just make sure it's not someone else telling you to do it!

4

Try new things. We are naturally raised as part of a group. Therefore, we're constantly being exposed to things that others around us have already approved. These things are good -- they can open us up to things we're not even aware of -- but it's also important to try things that are brand spankin' new to you that other people haven't already endorsed. How else will you find out what you like and do not like?

5

Color outside the lines. From a very young age, we're sort of brainwashed to fit into our society. We wear clothes, eat with utensils, go to school, do things to match our gender, et cetera and so forth. It's hard to realize that this is a box you can get out of. There are lines that you can color outside of. It just hasn't occurred to most of us.

• Think about how you would act if you were in a dinosaur costume. No one can see your face or body and you're in a dinosaur costume. All of a sudden you start bursting into rooms and waving your tiny arms and creeping up on people just because you can. You could do this in real life. You just choose not to. ...Why?

6

Be absurd. As if the dinosaur example wasn't enough, instead of just coloring outside the lines, you don't even have to use your metaphorical crayons on the metaphorical paper. If you want to go around school wearing headphones and dancing like you're in a Selena Gomez music video, the thing is, you can. If you want to wear a hat shaped like the state of Texas and stand outside of Wal-Mart all night long, if you can find one, you can. (Doesn't mean you should, but you definitely could.)

• Some people are going to severely frown on the dinosaur costumes, the public dancing, and the weird-shaped hats. Know that you if do want to start pressing the limits and toeing the line, you'll most likely experience opposition. If you can handle the heat, go for it. But know that lots of people frown on what's "abnormal."